Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
