Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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