last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I don't think brook has ever known best
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
