are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
