Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
