Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
