WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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