So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
