? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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