you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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