but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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