Cold hands, warm shart.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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