My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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