call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
