I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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