I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
