She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I bet he comes in French.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize