You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
