there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
