Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
