I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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