you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize