i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
