I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
