he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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