Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
