CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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