Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
