whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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