I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
