brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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