i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
