CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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