The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
