Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
