Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
