can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
