Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
