hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
