If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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