I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize