How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
