So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
