okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Pants are for mortals
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
