Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
