If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
