Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
