did you get engaged???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
