DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
