Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
