What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All the doctor said was why
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
