I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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