She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
