I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
