So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
