Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
