this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
