Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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