You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
