hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
