wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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