I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
